IND @ CIN (-3)
Colts have won 4 in a row and are making a serious playoff push. Bengals shocked the world and beat Jacksonville last week with their backup. Colts opened the week as a 1 point favorite, but Joe Burrow’s replacement balled out on Monday night so everyone thinks he’s good. Yeah right, dude! Colts really need this win to stay in the wild card spot for the playoffs. We get Big Grove back so good luck running up the middle into Grove and DeFo. Bengals can sneak back into playoff contention here so we need to put the kibosh on that. ATD: Zach Moss.
DET (-3) @ CHI
Chicago coming off their bye, Detroit coming off beating the Saints. Chicago is not really in the playoff race but they will still play hard. Justin Fields gives the Lions trouble and Chicago is a hard place to play, especially for tiny-hands Jared Goff. High level of variability here as Detroit has the firepower to crush them, but the Bears can make it sloppy and keep it tight. Lions need to win to keep pace in the NFC playoff seeding. ATD: Justin Fields.
LAR @ BAL (-7.5)
Baltimore coming off the bye, looking to keep winning and potentially get the 1 seed in the AFC. The Rams could maybe sorta kinda make the playoffs but not really. They are a little spicy though with Stafford, Kupp, and Puka. Ravens should go ham here at home and at the end of the day everyone goes oh yeah I forgot Lamar is insane. ATD: Keaton Mitchell.
HOU (-3) @ NYJ
Utter dumpster fire New York Jets at it again. Remember how they benched Zach Wilson and started Tim Boyle? Well they cut Boyle, started some other bum, benched that bum and are going back to ol’ Zachy boy. Word on the street was that Zach didn’t even want to play anymore – but they denied that of course. Jets are totally dead, this game will only be interesting if the defense (which is electric) hasn’t totally checked out. Stroud doesn’t have his little butt buddy Tank Dell but he should be fine. ATD: Brevin Jordan.
CAR @ NO (-5.5)
Derek Carr (Saints QB) has a neck injury, a back injury, and a concussion. But apparently is going to play. Have fun with that. These teams are about as poopy as you’ll ever see. But somehow the Saints can actually win the division if they reel off a few here. Panthers will have the #1 pick in the draft… oh wait no they won’t they traded it to the Bears so they could get Bryce Young last year. That worked out. Idiots. ATD: Alvin Kamara.
TB @ ATL (-1.5)
Who fricken knows with this garbage division. Falcons should be pretty good but their QB and coach suck, which makes it hard. Not interested except to watch Mike Evans continue to ball out. ATD: Mike Evans.
JAX @ CLE (-2)
Trevvy Lawrence (horse face) got a high ankle sprain on Monday night, but apparently he has magic hooves because he might play today. BUT Myles Garrett might take him to the glue factory early here. Joe Flacco starting again for the Browns. Dude throws the prettiest spiral these eyes have ever seen. Important game as far as playoff seeding goes, but dammit if it ain’t still a poo fest. Colts need the Jags to lose and we can actually sneak the division. ATD: Elijah Moore.
SEA @ SF (-13.5)
San Fran is just smokin fools. Should keep it going here against a disappointing Seahawks team. DK Metcalf and the boys could make it interesting because the Niners secondary is weak. But Geno Smith is banged up and the Niners just overpower everybody. Niners trying to get the 1 seed in the NFC. Seattle could technically make the playoffs but they are very much on the edge. ATD: George Kittle.
MIN (-3) @ LV
Justin Jefferson is finally back. Should go crazy here if the hairless Passtronaut can feed him. Maxx Crosby is one of the most electric defensive players in the league but he is extremely banged up. When they asked him yesterday if he’s playing he said “If I still have a heartbeat I will be out there with my brothers.” DAMN. ATD: Justin Jefferson.
BUF @ KC (-2)
Bangarang. This is the one. Bills absolutely need to win or they will not make the playoffs. Chiefs have been surprisingly bad on offense this year so they need to get their shit together too. Josh Allen v Patrick Mahomes is damn near a sexual experience. Please keep it in your pants, Wabby. ATD: Josh Allen.
DEN @ LAC (-3)
Weird one. Both teams are hard to get your head around. Most likely case is the Chargers are simply bad, hurt, and poorly coached. Lucky for them so are the Broncos. I keep betting on Denver and after watching 3 plays thinking why the hell did I do this, these guys reek. SO today I will be betting on Justin Herbert. At least he can chuck it. Both teams are fringe playoff teams that are basically eliminated with a loss. ATD: Joshua Kelly.