Big hinge week upcoming in week 9! Conference and division games are super important now as teams are beginning to run out of time to make up ground (looking at you, Cincinnati).
1PM GAMES
Miami Dolphins @ Buffalo Bills (-6.5)
Josh Allen and the Bills historically SMASH the Dolphins. Doing so again will nearly shut down any real competition in the AFC East and give Buffalo a path to a good playoff seed. For what it’s worth, Tua actually looked good last week in his first game back from his trip to the moon. But the Dolphins defense is ass city. Expect Joshy to have a field day.
Who scores? Josh Allen. Beast mode.
Denver Broncos @ Baltimore Ravens (-9)
Lots of Bo Nix love out there this week. People are convincing themselves into this Broncos team being actual competitors in the AFC after going on a 2 win streak. Nix looks legit and the defense is top notch! But let’s put that in perspective: they beat the Saints and Panthers. Keep reading to see my thoughts on those gems! Lamar is playing as well as I’ve ever seen and I see no reason the Ravens shouldn’t treat the Broncos as anything more than a mere speed bump. Oh yeah, they added Diontae Johnson too. What a week for that dude, going from the Panthers to the Ravens.
Who scores? Zay Flowers. Hoping Lamar keeps slinging it and Diontae Johnson plays just enough to free up Zay.
Las Vegas Raiders @ Cincinnati Bengals (-7)
This has to be the start of the Bengals run. They sit at 3-5 and have not looked like the Super Bowl contenders many expected them to be. A November game against the Raiders is not one they can afford to drop. It is wildly unclear what the Raiders think they have going on this year… weird quarterback battle, a coach who is clearly in over his head, and a few shining stars that somehow give them a chance every few weeks. Eventually the bottom will completely fall out and a matchup against a cornered Joe Burrow feels like just the spot.
Who scores? Chase Brown. Chalky but Zack Moss is hurt and the Bengals should be playing with a lead.
Washington Commanders (-4) @ New York Giants
Hot off the Hail Maryland, could this be a letdown spot for the Commies? Doubtful, considering the Giants stink out loud. A win here would keep the Commies firmly in first place in the NFC East, important considering the Eagles are starting to heat up.
Who scores? Austin Ekeler.
Los Angeles Chargers (-1.5) @ Cleveland Browns
Another week with Jameis Winston starting at quarterback in the NFL. God bless. The Browns do not have much to play for at this point… it would take a historic effort to make the playoffs after starting 2-6 and looking absolutely horrible. But they did beat the Ravens last week and Jameis is an epic wildcard. The Chargers meanwhile are staring down the barrel of a massive swing game, with a nearly 30% change in their playoff chances with a win versus a loss. I am a Justin Herbert believer and he finally has a good defense to back him up. Don’t be surprised if the Chargers go on a run down the stretch.
Who scores? Ladd McConkey.
Dallas Cowboys @ Atlanta Falcons (-3.5)
Bruh. The Cowboys are a wreck. CeeDee Lamb looks great. And that’s the only nice thing I can say about the Cowboys. It is really unclear what their vision is, and it looks like the future is bleak. The Falcons on the other hand are topping the NFC South and would love a win over a supposed blue blood team to solidify themselves as real playoff contenders. Kyle Pitts has come to life! So that’s fun. Bijan is a spicy nugget and Kirko is always live to pop off for 300 yards. What I really want here is a fight between the owners. Old man Jerry Jones versus Home Depot mogul Arthur Blank, who looks like he is dressed in a Halloween vampire costume at all times. Spooky.
Who scores? Kyle Pitts. Dude is 6′ 6″ 250lbs just huck it up.
New Orleans Saints (-7.5) @ Carolina Panthers
PUKE. Derek Carr is back and promised to be a “psychopath.” Eyebrow raise.
Who scores? Chris Olave. He hasn’t done much this year and this is a perfect chance to rack up some stats.
New England Patriots @ Tennessee Titans (-3.5)
SUPER PUKE. WTF IS THIS.
Who scores? WHO CARES?? (Hunter Henry)
4PM GAMES
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Philadelphia Eagles (-7.5)
Eagles are getting hot, Jaguars are a skidding clown car headed directly towards an on fire tanker truck.
Who scores? AJ Brown. It’s Kelly Green week. C’mon now.
Chicago Bears @ Arizona Cardinals (-1.5)
Both these teams are fringe playoff contenders who can be frisky at times and crappy at times. This one should be weird, hopefully in a fun way. The Bears just lost in literally the most ridiculous way imaginable… and the Cardinals are riding high after finally winning 2 straight. Maybe a correction back to the middle here, especially if Caleb Williams has a clean pocket and can get the ball out to DJ Moore and the gang.
Who scores? DJ Moore.
Detroit Lions (-3) @ Green Bay Packers
This is the one. Winner takes the lead in the uber competitive NFC North. A November game in Lambeau with real stakes – does it get any better? It was just announced that Jordan Love WILL play after dealing with injuries all week. Given the stakes of this one I expect the Lions to be pulling out all the stops: fake punts, double reverse end arounds, passes to offensive linemen. It’s all on the table. Shoot, the Packers may even bring out some funky stuff to give the Lions a taste of their own medicine. These are two of the best coached teams in the league and we should get one of the best games of the season to date. The Packers are wearing a 1950’s throwback jersey… pinch me.
Who scores? Sam LaPorta. Jameson William’s suspension leaves a hole that should let the Porta Potty cook.
Los Angeles Rams (-1.5) @ Seattle Seahawks
Massive stakes in the NFC West as we have a 3 way tie for first, with the Rams one game behind. It’s tight, and every division game is going to have huge ripple effects. Puka Nacua and Cooper Kupp came back last week and dusted the Vikings. They roll on to Seattle where the Seahawks will be without DK Metcalf. Bummer. This feels like a Sean McVay and Matt Stafford masterclass where they torture a first year head coach still trying to get his system fully in place. This reeks of a weird game… maybe even overtime?
Who scores? Jake Bobo. If it’s gonna get weird: enter Bobo.
