After a couple weeks of dead time we are now past the Combine and through the first few weeks of Free Agency. Still a lot of craziness to come leading up to and including the Draft on April 25, but here is a recap of what each team has been up to…
AFC EAST
Buffalo Bills
The Bills have had to play the salary cap game and let a bunch of guys walk. Most notably wide receivers Stefon Diggs and Gabe Davis – although they added an exciting player in Curtis Samuel. Stefon Diggs had been rumored to want out and he got his wish. The Bills traded their #1 receiver to the Texans in exchange for a 2nd round pick in next year’s draft… yikes. Cue Fresh Prince of Bel Air meme for Josh Allen.
Miami Dolphins
Similar story to the Bills… more guys lost than gained. With the largest (literally) being defensive tackle Christian Wilkins – a loveable fellow we met on Hard Knocks last summer. Between Wilkins and Robert Hunt, the Dolphins lost about 640 pounds of man meat. Soon they will have to pay Tua a FAT contract, so they will have to be crafty if they want to make any big moves.
New England Patriots
Bill Belichik and the Pats *mutually agreed* to part ways this offseason, as the Pats decided to swap out for a younger model in Jerod Mayo. Outside of the greatest coach of all time leaving the building… surprisingly little to report. These fools need to make some moves cause this team stinks. They are expected to draft a QB at the #3 pick in the upcoming draft.
New York Jets
You guessed it… Aaron Rodgers is making headlines again. And I absolutely love it. Everyone loves to get all up in arms over everything this man does. Can we not just appreciate that one of the greatest football players of ALL TIME is basically a hippie who was also rumored to be running for Vice President of the United States DURING the upcoming season?? That ain’t happening – but it’s fun! Beyond that, the Jets actually did make a couple interesting moves in bringing in one of the great offensive tackles of the last decade in Tyron Smith and a true difference-making wide receiver in Mike Williams. Both these guys are older and injury prone… and who knows how Aaron will look at 40 years old coming off a torn achilles… but why be negative in March?
AFC NORTH
Baltimore Ravens
The Ravens lost a few notable names – defensive coordinator Mike Macdonald, linebacker Patrick Queen, and wide receiver OBJ. They did make a splash and sign Derrick Henry. King Henry may be getting older… but even a slightly slowed version paired with Lamar Jackson is a terrifying thought come December.
Cincinnati Bengals
Nothing fancy in Cincinnati so far, but some solid moves that should remind everyone that with Joey B back next season the Bengals are not to be trifled with. They franchise tagged Tee Higgins, but there is some speculation that he could be traded. Color me doubtful – and scared of this team.
Cleveland Browns
The Browns traded for Jerry Jeudy – a wide receiver who has not lived up to expectations but is a solid high-upside low-risk investment. They also ditched Joe Flacco for Jameis Winston as backup. Whenever Jameis is lurking we all hold our breath in anticipation that this wild man will get to see the field. Starting QB Deshaun Watson and stud RB Nick Chubb continue to recover from season-ending injuries last year.
Pittsburgh Steelers
BIG NAMES headed to the Steel City… but to what end? All Pittsburgh’s quarterbacks are gone in exchange for Russell Wilson and Justin Fields. Do we have a plan here fellas? They say Russ is the starter until proven otherwise. I expect that to be around Halloween. They also scooped an absolute DAWG from the Ravens in Patrick Queen.
AFC SOUTH
Houston Texans
The Texans really think they are suddenly in win-now mode after they lucked into CJ Stroud being an elite quarterback right out of the gate. We’ll see. Trading for running back Joe Mixon is grossly underwhelming… but the rest of their moves are decent. Most notably signing stud edge rusher Danielle Hunter (that’s pronounced Da-Neel, NOT Danyelle) and trading for Stefon Diggs. The Texans will be one of the most hyped teams heading into next season.
Indianapolis Colts
So far the Colts have focused on keeping their guys at home, re-signing Michael Pittman, Kenny Moore, and a slew of other core pieces. They replaced backup QB Gardner Minshew with resurgent old man Joe Flacco. Dude still spins it… but Colts fans pray we never have to actually see him out there. The rest of the offseason will focus on getting Anthony Richardson some weapons and beefing up the back end of the defense.
Jacksonville Jaguars
The Jags signed a couple names… Arik Armstead on defense and Gabe Davis on offense. Also grabbing Mac Jones as a backup QB. Color me less than enthused by all that. They let Calvin Ridley walk to in-division foe Tennessee. Overall the Jags feel stale.
Tennessee Titans
Gotta give them credit for at least trying… I guess. The Titans have been very active for a bad team with MAJOR questions at quarterback. They paid Tony Pollard, Calvin Ridley, L’Jarius Sneed, and others. While losing Derrick Henry. But does any of that matter at all if there isn’t a better plan here at QB… I mean there just has to be. And oh yeah – I almost forgot – they fired a guy in Mike Vrabel who is widely and damn near unanimously considered a good, if not great, coach. Not seeing the vision here, ma’am.
AFC WEST
Denver Broncos
The Broncos have added… nobody? And lost… everybody? Russell Wilson, Jerry Jeudy, Lloyd Cushenberry, Justin Simmons are all gone. Their biggest addition is the Lions #2 wide receiver Josh Reynolds. Also, who is their QB? Jarrett Stidham? Are we serious? And they’re stuck in that QB dead zone in the draft at #12? AND are hamstrung in salary cap space and bargaining chips because of the worst trade of all time? Notice all the question marks?? This is a mess.
Kansas City Chiefs
Shocker – the Chiefs are good at this. Their #1 priority was re-signing Chris Jones – the best defensive back in the league. They did that ($100M guaranteed BTW). Then they went and got a good, yet to this point somewhat underwhelming, wide receiver in Hollywood Brown. Spoiler alert – playing with Patrick Mahomes is going to make him great again. Their biggest loss is cornerback L’Jarius Sneed who they just couldn’t afford anymore. But their defense is strong enough to endure that. #1 receiver Rashee Rice did just commit a hit and run in a leased Lambo… but nobody died! So nothing to see here.
Las Vegas Raiders
Another team that just doesn’t quite make sense so far. New coach with a weak roster… screams “find a stud quarterback to build around!” But the Raiders say nay. Build around the defensive end. They added Christian Wilkins alongside Maxx Crosby to create a truly fearsome defense. But it’s 2024 and the NFL incentivises offense. The Raiders offense? A QB battle between Aidan O’Connell and Gardner Minshew. They also lost Josh Jacobs, a guy who struggled last year but led the league in rushing two years ago. If they want to be a tough team who relies on vibes I’m here for it – could be fun – but you know what else is fun? Winning football games.
Los Angeles Chargers
Jim Freaking Harbaugh. The splashiest head coach hiring this year. Coming off winning the National Championship at Michigan, ole Jimmy is coming back to crack skulls in the NFL. He walks into what is considered one of the softest teams in the league and promises to toughen them boys up. He wants beef on the offensive line and smash-mouth-run-the-damn-ball-down-your-damn-throat FOOTBALL. This could be fun. In other news – the Chargers fired their GM and he left them in a rough spot financially. They had to let a lot of contributors walk: Keenan Allen, Austin Ekeler, Mike Williams, Gerald Everett, etc. They did find a way to keep Joey Bosa and Derwin James, so that’s a plus.
NFC EAST
Dallas Cowboys
Much more losses than gains so far in the Big D. Tony Pollard is gone. So is Michael Gallup, Tyron Smith, Stephon Gilmore, and Leighton Vander Esch. I have no clue what the plan is here… but neither does Jerry Jones! We’ll hold off on an opinion until more moves are made.
New York Giants
Are still ass. Their defensive line might be incredible, especially after trading for Brian Burns. But you know when pass rushers are most effective? When you already have a lead. A QB room of Daniel Jones (coming off bad injury) and Drew Lock, along with the loss of Saquon Barkley, does not inspire a lot of confidence that the G Men will have a lead very often.
Philadelphia Eagles
The Eagles stood shell shocked after one of the most stunning collapses we’ve ever seen last season. Then Jason Kelce and Fletcher Cox retired. Woof. They are trying their best to put on a nice face though, adding Saquon Barkley, CJGJ, Devin White, and Bryce Huff. This team is still very talented. But something stinks… we’ll see.
Washington Commanders
Interesting moves out of Washington. They signed a re-tread head coach with a defensive background. They signed an old guy on both sides of the ball in Austin Ekeler and Bobby Wagner. And they traded QB Sam Howell with the intention of drafting a replacement with the #2 pick in the draft. This will be a new look Commies that are hopefully a little more exciting… but I won’t be holding my breath.
NFC NORTH
Chicago Bears
The Bears will be drafting Caleb Williams with the #1 overall pick. He has incredible talent and upside. And he is already drawing Dennis Rodman personality comparisons… this should be fun at the very least. They traded Justin Fields for a bag of balls, but they picked up Keenan Allen and Deandre Swift. Actually not a bad situation for a rookie QB to step into.
Detroit Lions
Nothing super sexy in Motown thus far. The Lions have picked up a couple strong pieces on both sides of the ball in DJ Reader and Carlton Davis. They are kinda just doing their thing and trucking along.
Green Bay Packers
Two big names so far. The Packers snagged Josh Jacobs from the Raiders and Xavier McKinney from the Giants. Both solid, though not earth shattering. The Pack think they are in a window right now with Jordan Love still on a cheap contract and flashing major upside last season. Another team where I’ll have to see a bit more to really buy in.
Minnesota Vikings
The Vikings decided not to pay up to keep Kirk Cousins, electing to let him venture to greener Kohl’s Cash in the south. There are also strange rumors that Justin Jefferson could be traded? (That ain’t happening). But it adds to the doubt cast over this team. They picked up Sam Darnold as the current QB1 until they can draft a guy, and they already made a draft pick trade to snag a second first round pick. That will give them some ammo to make a big move to the very front of the draft. It will all come down to which guy they like. One fun name that moved intra-division is Aaron Jones coming over from the Packers.
NFC SOUTH
Atlanta Falcons
Atlanta has made the biggest QB move so far in signing Kirk Cousins to a massive contract. An older guy coming off an achilles tear gives me pause – but I have faith in Kirk to finally help some of the weapons in Atlanta flash a little. Fantasy football players are going to LOVE this team… luckily fantasy football doesn’t care about defense… because this defense stinks.
Carolina Panthers
Canales is the new coach in Carolina. Supposed quarterback whisperer who rejuvenated Baker Mayfield last year. The Panthers are hoping he can do the same for Bryce Young. They have spent a ton of money on the offensive line to protect the little fella. And they got him a legit receiver in Diontae Johnson. But this is still the worst team in the league.
New Orleans Saints
The Saints are gross and I don’t want to think about them.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers
The Bucs are running it back on offense after re-signing Baker Mayfield and Mike Evans, but they lost a lot of contributors on an already weak defense. Someone in Tampa seems to think they can contend in the NFC, and to be fair the conference is pretty weak, but the offseason moves so far make me think that they think they are better than they are.
NFC WEST
Arizona Cardinals
Nothing splashy in AZ so far as they are still trying to find their footing. Kyler Murray came back from injury last year and showed he still has some pop. But he lost his #1 wide receiver Hollywood Brown. If they stay put at #4 in the draft they’ll take Marvin Harrison Jr., but they could also trade out of that pick to stock up on more picks as they continue to rebuild.
Los Angeles Rams
The headline here is the retirement of Aaron Donald – who some people seriously consider the greatest football player of all time. He will be missed. But the Rams have proven to be good drafters and had some strong rookies last year, with promise to keep drafting contributors this year.
San Francisco 49ers
Nothing major to report out of San Fran. If it ain’t broke. Brandon Aiyuk is causing a bit of stir and could be traded. But a nice sack of cash could fix that right up.
Seattle Seahawks
The Seahawks have a new head coach this year in Mike Macdonald. Some people seem excited about him… I’ll have to be convinced. They also traded for Sam Howell to backup (compete with?) Geno Smith at quarterback. Most of their action has been on defense. Nothing to see here folks.