We find ourselves at the end of the road… the final regular season week of the NFL season. There is an unfortunate lack of drama and intrigue in Week 18 this year, as all but 2 playoff seats are spoken for, and a lot of seeding has already been decided. There are a few spicy nuggets though, and you know how the ancient Chinese proverb goes: a bad day watching football beats any day in the office!
SATURDAY GAMES
Cleveland Browns @ Baltimore Ravens (-19.5)
The Ravens will win the NFC North with a victory over the Browns. The spread of nearly 20 points is eye-popping and speaks to the utter dumpster fire happening in Cleveland this year. The Browns have a chance to get the #1 pick in the draft. We move along.
Cincinnati Bengals (-2.5) @ Pittsburgh Steelers
The Steelers will be keeping an eye on Baltimore, who plays right before them on Saturday. If the Ravens win they will win the NFC North and preclude the Steelers from doing so. In that case, there are some seed implications but it’s hard to say how much the Steelers will care. Meaning they could rest some starters or at least not play them the entire game depending on how it goes. If they do that, then the ramifications in the AFC playoffs are huge. The Bengals need to win the finale here to cap off an incredible run. If the Bengals win they need the Broncos to lose to the Chiefs and the Dolphins to lose to the Jets on Sunday to make the playoffs. A Broncos or Dolphins win eliminates Cincinnati. The bummer for the Bengals is that the Chiefs have everything locked up and are resting their starters… meaning the Bengals’ playoff hopes rest on the shoulders of Carson Wentz pulling off a miracle. Trust me – that is not a place you want to find yourself.
SUNDAY 1 O’CLOCK GAMES
Chicago Bears @ Green Bay Packers (-10)
If the Packers win and the Commanders lose to the Cowboys, the Packers will be the #6 seed in the NFC. Any other result and they will be #7 and travel to Philadelphia to play the Eagles. Not good.
New Orleans Saints @ Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-14)
The Bucs will clinch the AFC South with a win here. If they stumble and the Falcons beat the Panthers, the Falcons win the division and the Bucs miss the playoffs entirely. What a swing. Our man Mike Evans needs 5 catches and 85 yards to hit a $3M bonus in his contract. That would also give him his 11th consecutive season with at least 1,000 receiving yards. Legend.
Buffalo Bills (-3) @ New England Patriots
Doesn’t matter. Bills not playing starters. The Patriots have a chance to get the #1 pick in the draft.
New York Giants @ Philadelphia Eagles (-2.5)
Doesn’t matter. Eagles not playing starters. They are being nerds and not letting Saquon try to break the single season rushing record. LAME. The Giants have a chance to get the #1 pick in the draft.
Carolina Panthers @ Atlanta Falcons (-7.5)
Falcons need to win and the Bucs to lose. Otherwise, no cookie.
Washington Commanders (-6.5) @ Dallas Cowboys
Commanders are playing for seeding. The Cowboys are waiting to see if Mike McCarthy keeps his job.
Jacksonville Jaguars @ Indianapolis Colts (-3.5)
I’m disgusted.
Houston Texans @ Tennessee Titans (-1.5)
Doesn’t matter. Texans not playing starters. The Titans have a chance to get the #1 pick in the draft. The Titans are wearing the throwback Houston Oilers uniforms. Which are sweet. Unless you suck and the team you are essentially giving the middle finger to (the Texans HATE that Tennessee gets to use these and they can’t) is going to beat you with their backups.
SUNDAY 4 O’CLOCK GAMES
Kansas City Chiefs @ Denver Broncos (-10.5)
Is that Carson Wentz’s music? By God, it is. He’s back in our lives in a pivotal game. Not for his team, mind you, but for a couple of teams around the league. The Bengals, Dolphins, and Broncos are all vying for the last playoff spot. The Bengals and Dolphins need the Chiefs to pull off the upset here.
Los Angeles Chargers (-4.5) @ Las Vegas Raiders
The Chargers could improve their seed if the Steelers lose on Saturday (from 5 to 6). If the Steelers win, the Chargers will have no incentive to do anything.
Miami Dolphins (-0.5) @ New York Jets
The Dolphins need a win and for the Broncos to lose in order to make the playoffs. Because those games happen at the same time, the Dolphins will be going full throttle regardless. Unfortunately, Tua is once again out with a hip injury, which means Snoop Huntley will start at QB. Snoop isn’t the worst backup in the league but… not the situation you want to be in with your season on the line. Mike McDaniel is going to have to cook something spicy up here.
Seattle Seahawks (-6.5) @ Los Angeles Rams
The Rams are resting starters. Jimmy G will start at QB.
San Francisco 49ers @ Arizona Cardinals (-4.5)
Both teams are eliminated and will have middling draft picks. Tough spot.
SUNDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL
Minnesota Vikings @ Detroit Lions (-2.5)
The granddaddy of them all… the final game of the regular season might just be the best game of the regular season. A winner-takes-all match between two of the best teams in the league. Winner takes the NFC North and the #1 seed in the playoffs. The loser drops all the way to the #5 seed and will have to go on the road in the first round of the playoffs to play either the Rams, Bucs, or Falcons. The loser’s path would likely continue on the road while the winner will host every round. The swing in Super Bowl odds based on this result cannot be overstated. Detroit won their first matchup back in October on a late field goal, but both teams have only lost 1 game since then. Ford Field is going to be BUMPING. Dan Campbell is going to drink 12 gallons of coffee. And the boys are going to play smash-mouth ball for 60 minutes until we hash out a winner. Let’s freaking go.
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