Another crazy week in the League last week as two favorites of more than a touchdown fall in a blaze of glory. Keep that in mind as we roll on through the season… we know absolutely nothinggggg.
Week 6 offers another tasty charcuterie with a breakfast game in London, 6 early games, 4 late, and a banger on Monday night.
WAKEY WAKEY. 9:30AM GAMES
Jacksonville Jaguars (-1) @ Chicago Bears
It’s a lovely morning, innit? Throw another shrimp on the barbie!
Ahh – football and coffee. Perhaps the greatest duo since football and beer. The Jaguars return back to their true home town in London: the first of two back to back games overseas. Jacksonville has looked dreadful all season, but finally got a win last week as Horse Face looked good against the moribund Colts defense. If the Jags go 0-2 on their London trip they’ll likely leave coach Doug Pederson in Europe like the McCallisters left Kevin home alone for Christmas. The Bears ride over on a wave of positive momentum as their rookie QB looks better with each passing week. If Caleb Williams takes another step, and the defense holds serve, this could be a romping. Who scores? Rome Odunze. Rome in London: it’s poetic.
1:00PM GAMES
Washington Commanders @ Baltimore Ravens (-7)
This is easily the game of the day. The Ravens are a perineal contender, led by a two time MVP and anchored by veterans up and down the roster. The Commies are a feisty youngster, shedding the shackles of a decade and emerging as a glorious fun house of hope and promise. If Washington can pull off the upset they will fully plant themselves as the most shocking story of the season. They will find themselves not only in playoff conversation but Super Bowl consideration. But let’s not forget about Lamar Jackson and the Ravens. Lamar is an incredible 21-1 against NFC teams. The idea being they play him less often and thus have no idea what hell they are in for. Surely, Lamar is looking at Jayden like a little brother due for a noogie and a beatdown. This is one of those defense optional games and should be fireworks up and down the field. Who scores? Zay Flowers.
Houston Texans (-6.5) @ New England Patriots
The Texans haven’t showered themselves in glory so far this season, but are still plenty powerful enough to handle the Patriots. Stud receiver Nico Collins is on IR and will miss at least 4 games, which is a real concern for Houston, but they could score 10 points and win this game. The Patriots are turning the keys over to rookie quarterback Drake Maye for the first time. The kid has some promise: he’s big and mobile and has some legit college tape. The Pats took him with the third overall pick back in April with the hope he’s their next franchise QB. And he well might be. But first assignment, cold off the bench, against a legit Houston defense, has all the trappings of a classic rookie quarterback suck fest. Who scores? Tank Dell.
Cleveland Browns @ Philadelphia Eagles (-8.5)
Buzz, your girlfriend: woof. At least the Eagles get AJ Brown and Devonta Smith back so this beatdown might actually be a little fun to watch. Who scores? AJ Brown. Welcome back big fella.
P.S. I will continue to write this until the Browns ownership GROWS A PAIR and does what needs to be done. Bench that pervert and let us watch Jameis Winston in all his glory. Deshaun is putting up record ass numbers. Ass as in bad. Real bad. Just cause you committed to pay the man does not mean the man can play.
Arizona Cardinals @ Green Bay Packers (-5)
Fun game, should be a lot of points. Not much drama to speak of – I can’t even remember the last time these two teams played each other. The Cardinals are flying high after upsetting the Niners last week, but their inferior pass defense should be light work for Jordan Love. Who scores? Dontayvion Wicks.
Indianapolis Colts @ Tennessee Titans (-3)
Anthony Richardson is a game time decision. The rest of the Colts have one leg in the glue factory already. This is pathetic. The Titans are bad – possibly really bad. And are 3 point favorites. And yet, I am declaring this a “can’t lose” game for the Colts. If Anthony starts and they lose the game, the numbskull Colts fans that will be calling for Joe Flacco to finish the season will be deafening. I have no patience for these fools. Please, Anthony, do something crazy. And please, Will Levis, do something really crazy. Who scores? Deandre Hopkins.
Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-3.5) @ New Orleans Saints
Please just give me a solo shot of Mike Evans and Marshon Lattimore the entire game. These guys have become the best rivalry in football. It’s no secret I love Mike Evans and think he is still operating near the peak of his powers. Marshon is still a high level cornerback, but something about the Mike Evans matchup gets him fired up to another level. Let there be fisticuffs. Who scores? MIKE FREAKING EVANS.
4:00PM GAMES
Pittsburgh Steelers (-3) @ Las Vegas Raiders
Ewwww, dude. The Raiders benched poor Gardner Minshew for Aidan O’Connell. If you think AOC is the future you got another thing coming. Who scores? Justin Fields.
Los Angeles Chargers (-3) @ Denver Broncos
It’s really going to bum me out if the Chargers stink again this year. Justin Herbert should be one of the most electric players in football. He’s been alright this season, but nowhere near being unleashed. The talent around him leaves a lot to be desired. And the Broncos defense is pretty legit… should be a slog of a game. Who scores? Ladd McConkey.
Atlanta Falcons (-6) @ Carolina Panthers
The Panthers defense is the only reason the Colts defense isn’t last in every single metric. Sheesh this team stinks. These guys are actual NFL football players, so you never know, but this feels like a good old fashioned ass beating by Kirk Cousins and the Falcons. Who scores? Drake London.
Detroit Lions (-3.5) @ Dallas Cowboys
This is the game of the afternoon. The last time these teams played was the infamous Dan Skipper game last December, where the Lions scored a touchdown, went for 2 to win the game and converted on a trick play to an offensive lineman, only to be penalized on a highly controversial ineligible receiver call. Still burns me up. Anyway – I fully expect more craziness here as both teams are still liable to do goofy shit at any given time. Both teams are also liable to pull off incredible highlight reel plays. Prediction: the best kicker in the game – Brandon Aubrey – nails a 59 yarder to win the game in a nail biter. Who scores? Rico Dowdle.
