1pm games
Miami (-9.5) at Washington
- Commandos fired their defensive coordinator this week. Full poop fest over there. Spicy QB Sam Howell is about all they have going for them. Dolphins need to keep winning to win their division, but really this game is a stinker. Washington has one of the worst fields in the league too.
Indianapolis (-1) at Tennessee
- Colts currently in the last playoff spot in the AFC. Every game is a must-win, especially against division foe Tennessee. Colts are without JT 3-5 weeks after a thumb surgery. But his backup, Moss, is good. Titans are pretty bad. Starting QB is still rookie Will Levis (who people thought the colts might draft). Titans always play us tough. Even though they have nothing to play for in terms of playoffs… I’m scared.
Detroit (-4) at New Orleans
- Lions trying to bounce back after getting shockingly smashed on Thanksgiving. Saints are a complete clown show and I hate them. Will be betting the Lions to cover this number. Lions need to win to keep pace in the NFC and get the vibes back in order. Lions are a lock to make the playoffs but want better seeding. Saints are in the worst division so could sneak a division win and make playoffs.
Los Angeles Chargers (-4.5) at New England
- Woof. Chargers are my most disappointing team. Justin Herbert is still awesome but the coaching and rest of the team are pathetic. Coach will probably be fired if they lose this game. Patriots are one of the worst teams in the league. We don’t even know which of their 3 stinky QBs is playing today, but it doesn’t matter. Is Bill Belichick on the hot seat?
Arizona at Pittsburgh (-6)
- Steelers having a surprise good season. Offense has been better since they fired the offensive coordinator a couple weeks ago. Defense is sick. WATT WATT WATT. Should be in the playoffs but need to keep winning to be safe because they probably won’t win the division. Should be able to run all over this dog poo Arizona defense. Cardinals have no playoffs chance but want to keep getting Kyler Murray going. Quick little bastard. Could be a fun watch.
Denver at Houston (-3)
- Spicy one. Both teams are on a heater after starting slow. Both need wins to stay in the playoff race. Texans rookie QB Stroud has been lighting it up but Denver has a good defense. Russell Wilson having a little resurgence for the Broncos. Will be betting Denver. And the Colts need Houston to lose.
Atlanta (-2) at New York Jets
- Watching both these teams is like punching yourself in the eye. At least Atlanta has a couple fun players… but it ain’t their QB. Falcons leading the worst division right now but barely. Need to win to make playoffs. Jets need to stay in the hunt for any chance of Rodgers coming back this season.
4pm games
Carolina at Tampa Bay (-3)
- Puke. Don’t care. Panthers fired Frank Reich this week. Complete dumpster fire. Number 1 overall pick Bryce Young ain’t it. Buccaneers could surge and win the division but they are not good.
San Francisco (-3) at Philadelphia
- This is the one. Rematch of last year’s NFC championship game where all the 49ers QBs got hurt. Lot of shit talk between these teams. Philly coming off a grueling overtime win against the Bills. San Fran coming off whomping the commanders on thanksgiving. HERE WE GOOOO
Cleveland at Los Angeles Rams (-4)
- QB injuries for the Browns means Joe Flacco is starting today. Super Bowl MVP in 2013. I honestly thought he was retired. Tough scene. Also Myles Garrett can’t lift his arms over his head but he’s gonna somehow play. Brownies need it though for the playoffs – they are in the hunt. Colts need them to lose. Rams aren’t going to the playoffs but they’re kinda fun. Idk.
MNF
Kansas City (-6) at Green Bay
- Packers playing better lately. Chiefs need to get their shit together on offense but the defense is electric. Sneaky bad spot for the Chiefs who need to keep winning to get the 1 seed in the AFC. Where’s Travis Kelce been lately? Let’s see something dude.